


I got you.

by talea



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friendship, Hurt Thomas, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I can't stop hurting him, M/M, Sad, Sick James, Sushi, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 07:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9426023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talea/pseuds/talea
Summary: James Madison is very sick. That was something everyone knows.But what's wrong with Thomas Jefferson out of sudden?Alexander Hamilton wants to know it. The problem: he has absolutely no tact.-This is sad. Warning given.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.  
> I didn't want this to be so sad.  
> I like Kathi. And I hope she still likes me even though I made her cry.

"Hey, you now what's up with Jefferson lately?"

Alexander set down his tray on the table and sat down next to Laurens who shrugged at the question and went back to typing something on his phone. Alex looked to Jefferson again who sat on another table on his own, listlessly poking his food with a fork.

"Je n'en suis pas sûr, but Madison isn't here, non?", Lafayette responded after some more seconds. Alex nodded absently. Everyone knew that James Madison had a very weak immune system and over the year he was missing more days than he was present. He had been gone the last few weeks but usually, Jefferson wasn't very affected by it. He was slightly happier when Madison was around, but the absence of his best friend never made him that sad.

"He didn't show up at debating club, too.", pointed Alex out.

Hercules looked up from his own food. "Why are you so concerned about him, anyways? It's not like you two get along so well." Now it was Alexander's turn to shrug. "No, it's just odd."

Half true. Alex didn't care for Jefferson...right? _Right_ , he reminded himself. He just missed the endless debates about everything.

Yes.

That's it.

"I'm gonna ask!", he declared and stood up. He saw his friends shaking their heads and John mumbling something under his breath, but he already turned around and walked over to the Virginian.

"Hey, Jefferson, what's up?", he pulled over a chair and dropped himself onto it. Jefferson looked up and into his face. He had dark bags under his eyes and he looked pale, nearly sick. He muttered a "fuck off, Hamilton" before he took his still full tray and left.

Alexander returned to his friends after some seconds of perplex sitting around. Laf and Hercules started a new conversation but John grinned at him when he returned. "That's what I call a brush-off!" Alex laughed, but he was still sure that something was wrong.

 

-

 

Another week passed.

Again, Jefferson didn't show up at the debate club and Alex got more and more concerned with every day. He had tried to talk to the Virginian a few times but Thomas simply ignored him or left when they started to talk, which didn't make Alex feel better about the situation. Something was clearly wrong and Thomas wouldn't tell him what.

Not a big surprise, they were still rivals, even enemies if you want so. But for the first time, Alexander didn't want to be that. He even started to call him Thomas in his mind. His friends started to tease about his new crush, but Alex didn't even care.

Fuck.

Eventually, he asked Angelica, who, however, always knew everything about everyone. When he asked about Thomas she simply looked at him and her expression turned a bit softer.

"You don't know about it?" Hamilton just shook his head. He was confused about whatever he had missed. "Madison got very sick a few weeks ago. He's in the hospital right now but doesn't get any better. And now Jefferson has nowhere to go to anymore.", the oldest sister explained, but it only bewildered Alex more.

"Why nowhere? What about his family?" Angelica's face went back to the usual detachment when she talked to him and she just sighed before answering: "Either you are a really big asshole or an even bigger idiot."

Alexander felt his stomach drop a little when Angelica just turned on her heels and left.

 

-

 

"Just talk to him, mon petit lion." Lafayette was clearly annoyed but did their best to not show it. They sat on the couch next to Alexander, hair up in a loose bun and a blanket wrapped around their shoulders.

"I can't", Alex responded, distressed, "He always leaves or just ignores me!" He knew his voice turned into a whine but he didn't care that much.

"Talk to who?" Their foster-dad asked. George Washington looked over the edge of his newspaper and sat up in his armchair. It was probably even a good idea to ask him about it, as principal of their school he might know something else.

"Thomas Jefferson", the both of them responded at the same time. George hesitated shortly and frowned.

"Really? His parents called last week. They are considering to put him in a boarding school on the other end of the state. Something about a sick friend and dropping grades."

" _What_?" Alex was completely perplexed. From all the things he had expected it was probably the last thing, he would've thought of. Loud-mouthed, incorrigible, top-of-the-class Thomas Jefferson, with dropping grades and parents who would send him away because of that? "No", he heard himself saying.

"What's wrong, son? I thought you to couldn't stand each other?" Alex swallowed thickly and shook his head quietly. Angelica had been so right.

 

-

 

The next morning Alex immediately went over to Thomas when he spotted him outside.

"What do you want, Hamilton?", the Virginian hissed angrily. "Okay look-", Alex started but was interrupted by Thomas who tried to shove past him. "I've heard your bullshit for a whole week now, just get off my back, I'm serious." The threat didn't sound very frightening. Jefferson's voice sounded broken and was so quiet and Alex felt even worse.

"I didn't know about Madison...or your parents. Please, can I at least try to help?", he blurted out as fast as possible. For one second, Thomas' face went blank, then it filled again with anger.

"Did Washington told you about them? Awesome, another thing you can annoy me with. One last time, Hamilton: _stay off my case_." His voice got a dangerous undertone, nonetheless, Thomas seemed to be on the edge of breaking down still. Alexander let him walk away this time.

 

-

 

He didn't talk to Thomas at lunch. Instead, his friends all sat next to him. No one was joking anymore.

Alex wanted to cry, really. But at the same time, he reminded himself that he was not even near a position to cry.

"You want to help him, right?" He looked up, surprised. Hercules wasn't a conversation starter.

"Of course."

"Then why don't you try to get to know _Thomas_ instead of _Jefferson_ before solving his problems?"

"I-", Alex stopped, "You're a genius, Mulligan.", he said when he quickly grabbed his lunch tray and stood up, rushing towards Thomas. The Virginian rolled is eyes when he saw him, probably preparing for Alexander to speak like a waterfall again. But Alex just sat down next to Thomas and began to eat in silence.

He could feel Thomas eyes on his back, the confusion in the stare, but he kept eating and after a few minutes, Thomas joined him. Alex began to talk about some lighter topics. Classes. Teachers. Food. And Thomas began to talk to him. They calmly started a debate about food (Thomas loved french food - surprise - while Alexander swore on sushi) and by the time the next class came closer, Alex suggested: "We'll go eating sushi after school today. Feel free to join us, then I can convince you that Maki is better than roasted snails!"

He tried to sound as casual as he could, but when Thomas replied with "You bet. When, where?" he couldn't stop the giant smile spread over his face.

 

-

 

They walked down the street together, Hercules on the front, leading their way to (according to him) "the best sushi bar in town", behind him the others as loose group, Lafayette and Thomas talking about France, Eliza holding the hand of her girlfriend, Maria, John was next to Alex, silently saying: "You really did it. You brought Jefferson into our group."

Alex was proud of himself. As soon as they were seated at the _conveyor belt_ in the middle everyone started to take plates from it. Everyone, except Thomas.

"Don't tell me you've never eaten sushi before." Alex looked at him amused.

"I never had the time or really wanted to", the Virginian mumbled and Alex began to laugh. "Just take something, dude."

After a few minutes of Alex shoveling food into his mouth, he got attention back to Thomas who held the chopsticks in his hand, looking confused and a little bit lost. Alex wanted to laugh again, but just shook his head and with careful hands, he guided Thomas how to hold and move the chopsticks. They didn't exchange a word, just a little glare.

 

-

 

In this time, Alex learned a lot about Thomas situation. It was like a big puzzle and with every talk they had, he got a new piece. About Thomas family and James condition. It was always very small. Just hints of what he really wanted to say, but he started to open himself to Alex, who tried his best to be patiently and not pushing too much.

His friends were very careful, too. They really tried and Alex couldn't be happier about it.

Soon he noticed that Thomas was very uncomfortable with touch. He flinched away from it and so Alex just stopped to touch him.

 

-

 

One Friday afternoon, they decided to turn it into a movie night. So the whole squad gathered in the living room of the Washingtons, everyone was arguing about which Disney movie they should watch and suddenly Laurens stood next to Thomas and said:

"I think he should decide!" Everyone became quiet and looked at Thomas who blushed a bit under the expecting glances.

"Uh, how about _Aristocats_?" A mumble of agreement sounded and they scattered onto the floor and the couch. Thomas sat on the edge of the sofa, Alex next to him, smiling at him with the unspoken question _Is this okay_?.

Thomas smiled back.

 

Shortly after the movie started the group began to talk quietly until suddenly John began to giggle. Everyone stopped their conversations and looked at him.

"I just remembered one name in the movie. Wait for it." All eyes went to the screen and then everyone burst out into loud laughter.

"Did you do that on volontairement? Pourquoi, Jefferson? Why do you hate me so much?", yelled Lafayette.

"How should I've known that some dog is called Lafayette?", Thomas yelled back, shook by waves of laughter and tears already in the edges of his eyes.

 

When they finished the movie Hercules got up and started a new one.

A unanimous _aww_ came from everyone as _The Lion King_ began to play. Mufasa died and Alex could feel how Thomas tensed up next to him. Alex turned his head and saw how a silent tear streamed down his cheek, Thomas' eyes seemed to be focussed on something far away.

"Shit", Alex mumbled and fished for the remote. When he turned off the film the room was dark and everyone was quiet, only a simple noise cut through the silence. It was a wet, coarse sound, followed by a shaky breath.

Alex softly moved a hand in that direction and as soon as he found Thomas' shoulders he wrapped his arms around the other one and pulled him closer. No one moved or even made a sound, while Thomas was shaking and crying in Alex arms, who let his fingers drift to his hair, work through it to the skull in an attempt to call the other one down.

Eventually, Thomas stopped crying.

"I'm sorry." His voice was hoarse and broken and Alex let out a little _shh, i got you_ , not thinking about letting go of him.

"It's just...James gets worse every day and I spend so much time there. He's barely awake and the doctors believe that they can't save him. And" -he stopped, took a long breath before going on- "my family doesn't get that. My father thinks I'm the biggest disappointment in his life anyways, but now he wants to send me away and...", he trailed off and Alex tightened the hand in his hair.

"We're so sorry." It was Eliza's voice and you could hear that she had been crying, too.

"But we're here for you, okay?"

 

-

 

Thomas got a call and suddenly he was pale like all blood left his face. He ended it and slowly let his phone sink.

"What's wrong?" Alex was immediately by his side. He was the only person who could really touch Thomas and he was very proud of it.

"It's Jemmy. Bad condition. See you later." And with that, he grabbed his backpack and nearly fled out of the house. They tried to act normally after it but no one could really stop thinking about Thomas.

"I think I should go.", Alex said about an hour later and took a bus to the hospital. He was told that everything was signed so he could just go and see Madison, a nurse led him to the right room. It felt like he was in some sort of subspace, far away from the reality.

Then he opened the door and as he saw Thomas, sitting sunk into himself, with swollen, puffy eyes and suddenly everything came crashing down onto him again. Thomas had looked up and seemed very surprised of his appearance. Alex kept quiet and sat down next to Thomas. He opened the bag he brought with him and pulled one of Hercules' self-tailored blankets out throwing it over himself and Thomas.

They sat in understanding silence and Alexander reached out to take Thomas' hand. Soft. Innocent. Comforting. The Virginian just accepted it and when Alex squeezed his hand carefully, Thomas squeezed back.

 

-

 

Many days were like that. James was mostly asleep, didn't talk a lot.

Just once really to Alex.

Thomas left the room and his quiet, hoarse voice sounded: "If you hurt him, I will kill you. I'm being serious."

Alex held his hands up in surrender. "Never attempted that."

"You have to be there for him, you know", James had said. "Go to my funeral with him, you know." James had chuckled. He had _chuckled_.

"Don't talk about yourself as if you would die.", Alex had said.

"Oh come on. We both know the truth." Jame had laughed again.

 

First, Alex wouldn't even notice it, but when Thomas suddenly went missing in the second period he immediately rushed to the hospital.

James condition got even worse the last days.

Everyone knew that these were his last.

Thomas started to spend every free minute at his side again. But there had been a difference now: Alex was there, too.

Alex, who rushed up the stairs.

Alex, who opened the door.

Alex, who saw the situation and acted instantly.

The blanket was pulled other James face, his parents sat on the chairs, not looking up when he approached. Thomas crouched in one corner on the floor, crying, screaming as a nurse tried to touch him. Alex made his way across the room, knelt before Thomas and softly laid a hand next onto his cheek.

"This isn't real, right? Please tell me this isn't real!", his voice was desperate, hurt, he was shaking and sobbing. Alex just pulled him close and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. _I got you. It's okay.  
_

 

-

 

It felt like he didn't realize what had happened.

For the first time that it broke through to him seemed to be on James funeral.

He suddenly felt like crying, it closed up his throat and his cheeks burn. He would've called James a real _friend_ , in the end. A friend who was gone now.

Alex pulled on Thomas sleeve carefully. Thomas was better now. He had been really bad for some time, but eventually, it just became acceptance. Thomas looked at him, surprised even before pulling close, just like Alex used to whenever Thomas had felt like panicking or was fighting with night terrors.

He just cried into Thomas' chest for some minutes, the taller one buried his face into Alex' hair.

They held hands through the ceremony, through the speeches, when they came home and all their friends [] around them. They held each other together.

They were still Hamilton and Jefferson, hating each others opinions, always debatting about everything but there was something more now, something deeper.

Washington helped Thomas to stay on the school. He wasn't fine with his parents, probably would never be, but he could always stay at his friend's when his fathers felt the urge to throw him out again.

He would spend the nights with Alex, whispered words, sweet gestures.  _I got you. You're save._

He never forgot his past, never forgot James.

But he could remember him with a smile now.

**Author's Note:**

> Have cookies.
> 
> *coughtImLivingForCommentsAndKudoscought*


End file.
